“Don’t matter if you believe in them or not. If they’re there, they’re there,’ Mrs. Phipps said.”
Joan Lowery Nixon, The Haunting

Indulging in watching several episodes of haunted places type shows, and, not for the first time, the obvious following givens presented themselves:

1. If the building is an abandoned prison, hospital, theater or mental institution, it’s haunted.

2. If the house or institution was built on or near a cemetery or sacred burial grounds, it’s haunted.

3. Do NOT go down to the basement!

4. Or the room with all the dolls.

5. Or the attic.

6. If the place has been turned into a Bed and Breakfast, hotel or restaurant it’s haunted.

7. If you create a Halloween haunted house type attraction, and are really into it while mocking the whole time, it will become haunted.

8. Haunted places with a history full of legend and lore that attract paranormal investigators and tourists only make the ghosties more active and, often, more pissed off. Be careful.

9. Again, don’t go down to the basement!