Since the beginning of the coronavirus, I was “meh.” Felt like people were over reacting, being silly. That was no there there. Or, not much. 

My spouse, however, was paranoid from the beginning, which isn’t at all like him. I’m usually the one who’s dramatic. Yet suddenly, Jim is all about masks and not going out and buying hand sanitizer — extras to keep in the car, etc. — and I was wondering “What the hell happened here?”

For the first time in my thirty-five years or so of teaching, I have never had students be so aware and anxious over something as they have been lately, due to the virus. I work in an elementary school. I’ve had a student show me her hands; red and rashy, from all the hand scrubbing and washing and sanitizing “because of the virus.” Another student has told me, several times, she doesn’t want anyone touching her book because she doesn’t want germs from “the virus.” Another student came up to me the other day, asking me to check her because she didn’t feel good and was worried it was the “virus” that she had. And today, students suddenly started talking about the virus; some were worried they had it, or would get it. One told me she was worried because she’d been sneezing a lot and was it because she had the virus? Some said the virus came from a bat, others, a snake. One student tried to calm everyone down by saying “just wash your hands and don’t touch people.”

Students in a deep discussion about where the virus started: “from a bat,” “no, it was a snake.” Back and forth. Point is, they’ve heard it came from some kind kind of animal, and it wasn’t good.

 

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All that breaks my heart, that little ones are so anxious over this.

Meanwhile. For the first time since the coronavirus event (thing? episode?) this morning I got a little paranoid. Worried. Uneasy. News about travel banned into the U.S. The aforementioned anxiety of elementary students. My husband’s overall worry from day one. The fact that, despite a happy go lucky perception, we are both “senior citizens.” I’m sixty-six, he’s seventy. We both have health issues.

Not to mention the economy, which has been up and down and down and more down then up no, not, down . . . not my area of expertise, or even a bare grasp, but at least I ‘m aware it’s no good. At all.

Oh, and let’s not forget “social distancing.” And closed events. Locked down countries. 

There’s the topsy turvy world of systems. Schools — mine included — have cancelled our annual Reading Night, and non-student day, staff professional development meetings. To protect whom? Not us, really, since we teach and work with kids all day. So… ?

And of course, the U.S. has no testing, not much. All the while, society is split, from “you’re silly, stupid, and ignorant” for overreacting, by buying toilet paper and hand sanitizers, to the “you’re silly, stupid and ignorant” for thinking this is all paranoid bullshit, because it surely is not.

I’m not quite to the point of thinking our Reptilian Overlords (the movie They Live was not so far off) are behind this, but I am beginning to think there is a lot more behind this than we know, and possibly, probably, will ever know. It’s not just all snake oil. Or maybe it is. I’m afraid of sounding like Alex Jones or some other supposed Christian Republican paranoid conspiratorial talking head (we can also just say “piece of deluded egocentric excrement”.) But that doesn’t negate the possibility of something more insidious going on behind the scenes. 

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And if this isn’t gloomy enough, what if it’s true? More than could be imagined behind the scenes, Reptilians running the show, etc. What can we do about it? Not much. I was left, this morning, with the thought that, well, I can live my best life, be kind to others, (and to myself) and, well, . . .