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"The part we ignore…may contain the clue to the whole subject." ~ J. Allen Hynek

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Books

“My Name is Flix” find

“My Name is Flix” cover

(cross posted at my blog Frame 352: The Stranger Side of Sasquatch)

Many years ago, when I first started out in the paranormal bloggingverse, I self published a booklet on a Bigfoot type encounter in Oregon. Cut and paste, comb bound. I’m sure the thing is full of typos — I didn’t keep a copy. I managed to sell a few on eBay. Found an image of the cover while looking around the internet:

The photograph is of Conser Lake, although it isn’t called that anymore. I know the new name but, while it is a matter of public record, (I assume) I won’t share it since the lake is on private property and I think the owners got tired of people going down there.

Circus and Haiku: A Positive Omen for Creativity?

Couldn’t sleep last night; got up, tried to write. During the day, I was going through old files, trying to clean up my work area. Lots of files on UFOs, the paranormal. A lot of academic papers I’d written when studying folklore at the University of Oregon. (One titled: Talking Deer: The Presence and Function of Animals in UFO Abduction Lore.)Made some notes, went over pages of stuff, but, nothing. Went back to bed.

Earlier in the day, I tweeted to a haiku group that a goal of mine is to “write a haiku a day.” I started doing this a couple of years ago. Not quite one a day; sometimes a few in one day, then nothing for awhile. I carry around a little black notebook just for my writing notes and poems, haiku and haibun.

 

the New Year’s goal

writing a haiku a day

not going well

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I subscribe to Modern Haiku. (MH published one of my haiku years ago, rejected a couple of months ago though. Try again . . . ) Aside from writing fiction; poetry and short fiction, I also write about the paranormal and supernatural, UFOs, and all kinds of weird.

I had the following dream last night, after I finally went to bed:

My new issue of Modern Haiku arrived, which surprises me, since I just received a copy and they publish a few times a year. Much too soon to receive a copy. But, I’m very happy to receive this. I also receive an unexpected zine from someone I don’t know. I wonder how they got my address, how they know about me. Both are fiction and poetry inspired publications.

In the Modern Haiku journal, there is an article by a woman about me! The title was Regan Lee: Circus. The author writes that, while not a believer, nor disbeliever, in things paranormal, she was inspired and moved by my writing. Somehow this writer got a hold of my article and she wrote a very positive review of my work.

Of course I’m excited and honored and show this off to everyone, including co-workers. I don’t care if they don’t care — though most of them are interested, and do know of my work in this area — I am so happy about this! But also a little confused. How did this woman come to know of my work? I hadn’t put this paper up anywhere.

The other zine, also from someone I didn’t know, gives me a positive mention as well. Again, I wonder how it is these people came across my work. I also wonder at the strangeness of a review on UFOs and the paranormal appearing in a haiku publication. And what does the circus have to do with any of this? (Circus: something I abhor.)

Creativity. Something extremely important to me, with me my whole life. I don’t put creativity in a box; it’s everywhere, in everything I do or think. Some may not think there is anything creative — blending into a spiritual place — about the realm of UFOs and related themes. I those areas as operating in a strong  and creative plane. Two worlds: outer, inner. Fiction, non-fiction. Mundane, magical. Not always opposites with nothing in common. Going back and forth between worlds.

Which is what I’ve been doing since childhood.  Expressing one realm to another. Maybe that’s the circus part; it can get very chaotic and silly and surreal very fast. I take this dream as a positive message to keep going, following my own crazy path.

A Comment on my recent Stint on Jeremy Vaeni’s ‘Experience’ Podcast

It’s very difficult to mine any information from this interview. Regan was good at expressing her own bafflement and confusion with her experiences, but not at describing them with enough detail that we could either sincerely share her bafflement or perhaps provide some clarity. She says she’s trying to understand them better, and I believe her, but I also sense an unwillingness to open her experiences up fully to outside commentary. One thing that was obvious is that she’s concluded far more about her experiences than she expresses outright, and perhaps she fears that opening up her experiences to outside comment will challenge those conclusions and throw her back into a worse confusion, or confirm the worst of them which she is not ready to hear, but that looks to me to be rooted in a lack of self-confidence and a disbelief that anyone could really offer her anything truly beneficial.

I apologize to Regan for being so critical, and perhaps I’ve got it all wrong, I share my thoughts freely and whether she considers them or throws them into the bin I’ll take no offense.

A comment left  on Jeremy Vaeni’s Unknown Country/Experience podcast site in response to my podcast appearance on Vaeni’s program several weeks ago, (Which I greatly enjoyed, and once again, thank Jeremy for the opportunity to talk with him. Always truly wonderful, and funny, and “real” to speak with Vaeni.)
No offense taken dear commentator, I agree with many of your thoughts.
I am only trying to figure it out. Being human, and having all kinds of experiences involving  trauma — extant of any paranormal/supernatural experiences, I have my blind spots. Some I’m aware of, some I’m not.
We’re all in this together, trying to figure it out, find our way. Find those to trust, who will listen. Find others who’ve had similar experiences, who will share, and, listen to us without a knee jerk reaction of rejection.
Search, research, study.
But yeah, I’m human, and like everyone else, have moments of clarity, then, those muddled moments of what-ifs and it-couldn’t- possibly- be. Even fear. Okay, FEAR.  At times.
I don’t doubt at all that there’s a part of me that is afraid. Fuck yeah. Missing time? Not once, but at least twice. It’d be bad enough if it were only me present at those times, but, no. Others were present who confirmed the experiences.  Same with the invisible but no less real presences, (alien? not human, anyway) again, confirmed by others. And, so on  . . .
And I will acknowledge that yes, there are still some private, intimate episodes that I’m not willing to share now, or, I might find, will never be willing to share. Fear, shame, confusion, self-protection, … who knows. But it’s my right  to decide when and  where I will share these episodes. Will they be useful to the meta-data? To women in this field? To me?! Probably.  Yet in the meantime, we have to allow ourselves the time and space to process all this stuff.
We have to respect witnesses and let them speak, encourage but not harass or persecute those who share their stories. There will be a time when they’re (and when I’m) ready  to be even more open.
Being so-called closed shouldn’t imply a dishonesty, but foster a sense of compassion and patience.
True, there are those are coy for whatever reason (er, um, well,  David Paulides . . .) but the majority of people sharing their stories are being truthful. Sadly, but reallistically, there are always those who are hoaxers, liars, or sloppy and sleezy creeps (David Jacobs, in my opinion) but it’s a given that in any field — you name it, any field — that there are the liars, creeps, psychos, and huskters.

Emma Woods: Childhood Memory of Entity

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Drawing of ‘non-human creature’ seen by Emma Woods. Drawing by Emma Woods.

 

When I was a young child, I saw a small non-human creature in my bedroom. Another child also saw him, and she still remembers it as an adult. It is a fragmentary memory, and at first I could not remember his face. However, years later I suddenly remembered his face, and I drew this sketch of him. I am aware that he is an archetypal “alien”, and I know the mythology behind it. However, this is what I remember. I don’t know what he was, and I think it is possible that entities might present themselves in various forms, perhaps according to the culture of the time. So, perhaps this is how I saw him, and he might appear differently to others, and to those in other cultures. [Emma Woods]

Emma Woods graciously gave me permission to post her drawing of an entity she saw as a child, along with her post.

I like that Emma shared her memories; I also like the fact she writes “I know the mythology behind it” meaning the appearance of the entity.  Some might say these images are too convenient; not actual memories but influenced so heavily by the popular culture icon of “the gray” that we don’t remember accurately. Could be. I appreciate her honesty in noting this. I also like that she calls it a “non-human creature” and not an alien. As with my experiences, I don’t know if what I saw and experienced were aliens, as in ET, or, something else. Decidedly non-human though.

I have a painting I did years ago (the painting is buried in the studio for now) of the ‘invisible aliens’ I saw as a child. These beings were small, no taller than I, skinny, and almost like stick figures. That’s the sense I had, though I never saw them, not solidly.  They were transsparent, barely there. But, there indeed! Their heads were oval or triangular shape. The painting was done before the publication of Communion. As with Emma’s comments about her experience, I don’t know if these beings were ET, something else, and or if they appeared differently — or were interpreted differently — depending on culture and so on.

You can find Emma on social media:

 

 

 

Nick Redfern on C2C Tonight (And a Bit About Truth)

Nick Redfern, who’s latest book, The Roswell UFO Conspiracy, is causing much ado, will be a guest tonight on Coast to Coast.

Speaking of Nick’s new book — which I haven’t read yet, but plan to of course — it’s funny, in a typical UFO Land kind of way, how much controversy his book has caused. (The Roswell UFO Conspiracy is a sequel to Body Snatchers in the Desert.)
I have no idea what happened at Roswell, and aliens crashing their spaceships on a ranch seems possible. So do heinous acts by governments. The first, true folklore. (Which does not mean it isn’t also true.) But it’s a classic narrative of aliens in the desert, and has become a part of popular culture. Everyone knows what you mean when you cite Roswell, regardless of acceptance of such things as aliens from space. The latter, well, that’s more troublesome. People, including many UFO researchers, don’t want to go there. They don’t want to get deep into dark conspiracies. I mean, good god, no one wants to even hint they’re an Alex Jones. Also, many a UFO researcher is, bewilderingly, politically conservative, and actually trusts the government.
The truth is the truth, be it aliens or government (ours, some other, …), or private technologies as in global illuminati cabal types. Whatever the answer to Roswell, it is important we keep ourselves open, and be willing to really see the truth when, and if, it arrives.

Redfern himself writes about reactions to his book at Mysterious Universe: When Ufologists Turn on Ufologists.
I don’t know if Redfern’s book is close to any truth or not. But at least he’s offering us something new and we need to be willing to adjust the ways we consider what happened at Roswell.

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