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"The part we ignore…may contain the clue to the whole subject." ~ J. Allen Hynek

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dreams

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Astral – Synch: Wingless Winged Woman

 

I call upon a deity : the winged woman. I ask her for her help.  A couple of days go by, Jim and I are talking in the living room, and a woman strolls right on by. Where did she come from? Long dark hair, causcasin, maybe early 40s. Tall, almost six feet.

She’s the personisfication of the winged woman. She is the Winged Woman. Except, she does not fly, and exhibits no wings.

I am surprised to see her, to know that she appeared.  Her response:  “Well you called  me didn’t you? Here I am.” Clearly she thinks I am one silly human.

At first she is nice, seems harmless. Tells me she is here to help.

Night, we’re outside. .She seems even  taller now. Almost seven feet. She sort of sits curled up on a little pedestal (fire hydrant?) and her vibe seems different. A little more calculating.  Still no wings. But she is definitely “the Winged Woman.” Whoever, whatever, that is. I don’t like her. I’m sorry I every called upon her.

Now we’re back in the living room. I smell something burnig. I look up, on top of our tall bookcase are boxes covered in paper with little birds in them. Baby birds. She set the birds on fire! I can hear them squeaking and sqawking. It’s horrible! I take down the boxes, try to save them. The winged/wingless woman is outside, smiling a nasty smug smile. Tells me she’ll save the birds if I do what she says. When I try to protest she tells me  that “this is what happens when you call upon beings and aren’t sure what you’re doing.”

That last line: “This is what happens when you call upon beings and aren’t sure what you’re doing” is certainly a truism. Be careful of what you wish for. Indeed.

Earlier that day, I was thinking, for some reason, about the winged woman sighting in Vietnam. And then dozed off in my garden and awoke to the awful sounds of crows and jays fighting; the crows attacked the baby jays in the apple tree. Poor babies. I know, circle of life.  Also, lots of packing at work due to classroom moves. And I have a recurring theme of birds; long forgotten birds in cages, boxes, still alive, waiting patiently, and I’m always amazed they’re still alive.

Today, saw this item on the Anomalist: The Frightening Supernatural Story of the Black Bird of Chernobyl.

“According to the legend, rumours went through the ranks of Chernobyl, that five employees had seen a large, dark headless creature with gigantic wings and fire red eyes. Chernobyl employees began sharing strangely similar experiences, some had horrifying nightmares, while others received threatening phone calls,” Maxwell said.

“The second account I’ve heard of this story comes from 2007 which says that people in and around the power plant began to experience a series of strange events revolving around sightings of a mysterious creature — also described as a large dark and mutated creature with large wings and piercing red eyes.

“People affected by the phenomena also experienced nightmares and had first-hand encounters with the winged beast.

1969, Vietnam: Earl Morrison saw, along with his fellow soldiers, a winged woman. The following is from an item by Nick Redfern at Mysterious Universe:

“We watched her go straight over the top of us, and she still didn’t make any noise flapping her wings. She blotted out the moon once – that’s how close she was to us. And dark – looked like pitch black then, but we could still define her because she just glowed. Real bright like. And she started going past us straight towards our encampment. As we watched her – she had got about 10 feet or so away from us – we started hearing her wings flap. And it sounded, you know, like regular wings flapping. And she just started flying off and we watched her for quite a while.” [The Glowing  Winged Woman of Vietnam, Nick Redfern at Mysterious Universe.]vintagewingedfemale.jpg

Tell Me More About the Beeping Dear

Just read my post (see previous “My Mother’s . . . Abduction?”) to my spouse. He and I have had several weird UFO related experiences together, including missing time, as well as our own in childhood, before we ever met.

When I got to the part about my mother talking about “the beeping” and my own beeping sounds in my head, Jim says, casually, “I’ve had that beeping too.”

After forty plus years of marriage, you think you know it all.

So dear, tell me more about this beeping!

Aliens Through the Wall: Then Why Did Ya Tell Me?!”

It seems when I sleep in the afternoon, the dreams are weirder. I’m recovering from oral surgery, feeling sloggy and groggy, and so, slept for a couple of hours. (And when I woke up, thought it was time for work and had a moment of confusion on what to wear.)

So, the dream. I’m working away on writing, reading, researching all about This Stuff. UFOs, aliens, with a few cryptids thrown in. The usual. It’s night; outside the window I can see the dark night sky, a few stars. A knock at the door, I answer. Three males, all very different and very odd, are standing there. Without a word they just come in, pushy!

They act like MIB but don’t look like MIB. (Men in Black.) One looks like a boy of about sixteen, but I know he isn’t a young boy. He’s not even human. In fact, I know that none of these “men” are human. The other looks somewhat like an human, except the he’s really tall, and the other, about five foot nine, well. He’s simply a humanoid outline full of purple glittery shimmering material that keeps swirling around.

These men warn me in very strong terms not to discuss my experiences, my research. They know all about what I’ve written in the past. Everything. Every blog post, every article, every reference to me, every journal entry, and every discussion I’ve had with others about UFOs.

I am very offended. I ask them, “Just who do you think you are?!” and they don’t answer. They then walk right through the wall! Now that terrifies me. Then they walk back out, into the living room. They tell me “Don’t fuck with us, lady. We’re serious. You CANNOT tell anyone about us!”

“Then why,” I ask, “Are you showing up here at all, and showing off your wall trick?”

That, they ignore. They just walk through the wall again.

Later, I’m at work, I think.  Somewhere. I get a few people close to me together, tell them they cannot, CANNOT, tell anyone what they’re about to see. We’re in a room, locked door, paper over the peep hole. 

I am telling these people because the “men” later told me I could, but only if we promise not to tell others. Turns out I have video of their going through walls.

After I show the video, some tell me they don’t believe it because it’s easy to fake things. True, good point. I don’t know what to say.

Then the “men” show up and go through walls again. That gets everyone’s attention.

 

What I found interesting in this dream was the show off nature of the aliens, or whatever they were, along with their warning not to tell anyone. I asked what I considered a very reasonable question: then why show me all this?

True, as we know, when weird experiences happen and we tell others about them, many times we’re not believed. But many of us are compelled to tell our stories anyway. And there is certainly a trickster element in the UFO/alien paranormal realm. Lots of bizarre actions — performances, really, by “them” — often with warnings of keeping the experience secret.

you can’t try for crazy

you can’t try for crazy

it just comes

natural like

and born of ….

well, you know:

drugs,

 trauma, 

loss,

 hurt, 

fear, 

sensitivity,

 psychosis, 

nightmares,

 poverty, 

perpetual poundings small and velvety soft

not being believed

finding yourself lost, without a map, a light, a sense of direction

feeling cold

pain —

that’s literal pain,

undiagnosed pain

told it’s all in your head pain

seeing the unseen, through the veil, within the fringe,

the shadows, the orbs and glows

hearing the voices not inside the head but

in the ether, up and to the left

that inside-an-empty-tin-can sound

crazy comes, stays, visits, stays awhile

sometimes it leaves

mostly, it stays

 

regan lee/4/2018/eugene, oregon

Talking Bigfoot on Arcane Radio podcast

Earlier tonight, guest on Lon Strickler’s Arcane Radio podcast. An enjoyable conversation indeed, and many thanks to Lon. It was good to actually talk to Lon “in person” after knowing him on-line all these years.

Paralyzing Dream: Inside the Lab-Ship

 

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Dreams are a mystery. They still remain so, even with new theories on the hows and whys. It’s a given, as far as this blog is concerned, that dreams are far more than just random crazy brain dumping of the mundane  stuff that went on during one’s day.

I was going over an old journal entry from 1980; a UFO related dream. And I thought, why? Why dream about UFOs at all, back then, when I knew very little at all about the subject? No reason. Except that I had had my orange orb sighting at the time. Then the dreams followed:

I’m in a room with doctors and scientists. Surrounded by recording type machines and all types of official looking equipment. It’s been somehow agreed I will try to tell them what’s going on, by hypnosis or some trance like state.

During this dream, there is a part of me that is quite detached, watching all of this, while another part of me is inside the dream actively taking part. This part of me is helpless. I’m not in control, I am just …here.

One of these scientists deals in para-psychology, he is talking to me. I go into a trance state. Another voice — male–  starts to speak through me.  The voice is coming from another planet,  communicating through me. I relax, I am not frightened and allow this doctor and who, whatever it this being is talking through me. As I relax, this voice/me tells us about a map. This map shows where these beings come from; where their planet is. Two other voices start to speak through me. And I know, I feel, these are two very different people, beings, than myself.  My being has literally been invaded by outside forces. And they are extremely evil. They’re angry and don’t want me and this other being, tellings the human scientists where this planet is.

This is where I struggle to wake up. I feel completely paralyzed and am very scared. I think I’m really awake; I start to moan and I try to scream, but I can’t. Jim wakes up, and tries to comfort me.

Then I really start to wake up, and am startled, because I thought I was awake already. I’m sweating, my heart is beating fast, I am so damn scared! Too afraid to go back to sleep. I think of going downstairs — reading, drawing, watching, tv, a cup of soothing tea, something to relax me and let me know the reassuring reality of things around me. But I’m too afraid to get up and away from a warm human body. (Jim.)

I’m feeling so silly, it was just a bad dream, but I can barely move. And for days afterward, I was in a fog that I couldn’t come out of.

Eugene, Oregon, January 29, 1980

Why do we dream what we do? In this context, it seems odd to dream this dream, especially considering I had many dreams of this kind at the time. And they are all within the context of the orange orb sighting. And other sightings as well; there was a revolving silver sphere above a pasture, emitting a beam of light from underneath onto the ground. It seems that this dream as well as the others, are connected to these sightings.

We know that dreams of UFO/alien (or at least non-human ‘others’) and awake encounters with craft, beings, are connected.

So my question is:  are these dreams of mine a form of memory of real events experienced during waking hours?

1978 UFO Dream-memory

Cleaning out my study; lots of old files, and books, and all kinds of stuff. Had. forgotten all about a little journal I started in 1978 or so about my UFO experiences. Here’s one about a dream I had:

The dream: [edited for clarity] Date: June 29, 1978

Night time, Los Angeles. I’m standing on the corner across from my mother’s house. (interesting I wrote “my mother’s house”  seems an odd way to phrase that. It’s the house I grew up in. Also, the house where my mother saw a UFO, and became very excited, calling us kids to come out and look at “the flying saucer.” No one believed her — except me. In fact, I told not to worry when the UFO was no longer visible. “Don’t worry mom, they’ll be back. They always come back.”)

I look up to the sky, and see very clearly, a large rectangle and another shape, thicker than the first. they are zooming through the air quickly and quietly. The UFOs break apart and disappear over a hill. (No hills however where I grew up.) Now I see flashes of light, and the sounds of machine guns. I know however that that’s not what is making the sound — it’s not the ‘guns’ it’s something else.

People on the street stop to look towards the sounds. I try to tell them what I saw: UFOs. Some believe me, some don’t. To be expected.

Suddenly, as we’re discussing what’s happening, a very large crescent of light comes floating through the sky, very fast. It’s heading towards the direction of the ‘machine gun’ sounds. The sounds stop. The UFOs come back in their original direction, towards me. They stop above me. Strange sounds like music are heard, but it’s difficult to tell if the sounds are from musical instruments (at least what we’re familiar with) or machines.

All this time, during this experience, I think it’s really happening. Then I remember I’m dreaming. Or am I? I must be. Of course I am. I’m confused. Within the dream I dream again. And here I tell Jim (my boyfriend at the time, my spouse now) all about the dream. He believes me. All of it. I tell him that the UFOs are real, “I just know they are.” No doubt. No argument. I tell him: “Well, I guess I really saw a UFO, it happens, and it just did to me.”

This time, in this dream, I wasn’t frightened, as I had been in the past in other dreams. I did feel awe, however, not in a religious sense (no space brother-sister Close Encounters stuff)  but simply in an “this is incredible” sense.

We were living in Eugene, Oregon at this time. This before where we moved a few miles away and I had my orange orb and missing time experience.  I did have a lot of weird UFO alien type dreams — was having them in Los Angeles when I met Jim, where we had missing time and a possible sighting — I find it interesting these dreams started before this. This suggests my experiences have been with me since childhood. Jim, who has had his own UFO related experiences, also since childhood; I have often commented how our experiences are not as random as we might think at times.

Circus and Haiku: A Positive Omen for Creativity?

Couldn’t sleep last night; got up, tried to write. During the day, I was going through old files, trying to clean up my work area. Lots of files on UFOs, the paranormal. A lot of academic papers I’d written when studying folklore at the University of Oregon. (One titled: Talking Deer: The Presence and Function of Animals in UFO Abduction Lore.)Made some notes, went over pages of stuff, but, nothing. Went back to bed.

Earlier in the day, I tweeted to a haiku group that a goal of mine is to “write a haiku a day.” I started doing this a couple of years ago. Not quite one a day; sometimes a few in one day, then nothing for awhile. I carry around a little black notebook just for my writing notes and poems, haiku and haibun.

 

the New Year’s goal

writing a haiku a day

not going well

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I subscribe to Modern Haiku. (MH published one of my haiku years ago, rejected a couple of months ago though. Try again . . . ) Aside from writing fiction; poetry and short fiction, I also write about the paranormal and supernatural, UFOs, and all kinds of weird.

I had the following dream last night, after I finally went to bed:

My new issue of Modern Haiku arrived, which surprises me, since I just received a copy and they publish a few times a year. Much too soon to receive a copy. But, I’m very happy to receive this. I also receive an unexpected zine from someone I don’t know. I wonder how they got my address, how they know about me. Both are fiction and poetry inspired publications.

In the Modern Haiku journal, there is an article by a woman about me! The title was Regan Lee: Circus. The author writes that, while not a believer, nor disbeliever, in things paranormal, she was inspired and moved by my writing. Somehow this writer got a hold of my article and she wrote a very positive review of my work.

Of course I’m excited and honored and show this off to everyone, including co-workers. I don’t care if they don’t care — though most of them are interested, and do know of my work in this area — I am so happy about this! But also a little confused. How did this woman come to know of my work? I hadn’t put this paper up anywhere.

The other zine, also from someone I didn’t know, gives me a positive mention as well. Again, I wonder how it is these people came across my work. I also wonder at the strangeness of a review on UFOs and the paranormal appearing in a haiku publication. And what does the circus have to do with any of this? (Circus: something I abhor.)

Creativity. Something extremely important to me, with me my whole life. I don’t put creativity in a box; it’s everywhere, in everything I do or think. Some may not think there is anything creative — blending into a spiritual place — about the realm of UFOs and related themes. I those areas as operating in a strong  and creative plane. Two worlds: outer, inner. Fiction, non-fiction. Mundane, magical. Not always opposites with nothing in common. Going back and forth between worlds.

Which is what I’ve been doing since childhood.  Expressing one realm to another. Maybe that’s the circus part; it can get very chaotic and silly and surreal very fast. I take this dream as a positive message to keep going, following my own crazy path.

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