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"The part we ignore…may contain the clue to the whole subject." ~ J. Allen Hynek

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childhood memories

Stuart Davis: Aliens and Artists

Stuart Davis was last night’s guest on Coast to Coast; George Knapp hosting. I had not heard of Davis before. A fantastic interview! Different, and yet . . . a lot of what was discussed seemed familiar.

Davis has had his own experiences in the metaphysical-high-strangeness-UFO realm, including encounters with Mantids (praying mantis entities.)  His encounters include many moments of synchronicity.

Aside from Davis’s experiences, he has apodcast: Aliens and Artists.   Davis explores the relationship between artists, UFO etc. expedites, and the creative expressions.

I really think this is one path to follow in order to get closer to some understanding of the phenomena.

One thing Davis talked about was that moment when we’re meditating, or relaxed, maybe going to sleep but still awake — those in between moments — and we are consciously (or, sometimes not so much) inviting non-human energies into our space. “They” seem to know when we are open, and vulnerable. I’ve had a few of these drop-in visitors while in this state.

One was very silly. I was doing an experiment with a friend of mine who has had a life long experience with UFOs, aliens, and all kinds of high strangeness episodes. Her children and spouse have as well. So for awhile, we were trying to send each other images. It didn’t work, not for either of us. But, what did pop into my mind was the typical gray, except he/she/it had a balloon type head. Very cartoonish. It was like the thing was laughing at me. It was very Trickster like; wouldn’t go away, kept coming back. The harder I tried to get rid of it the more it stuck around.

Now, I’m not suggesting this was literally a Balloon Clown Alien from Outer Space. Just that in my in betwixt and between state, with intent, energies morphed and appeared. They could have been from my subconscious: me thinking deep down this whole thing was silly and I shouldn’t try. Or, not. Or, something in between, a bit of this, a bit of that.

balloonhead copy
Balloon Head Alien-Grey, colored pencil, ink on paper,

And then these travelers:

Photo on 8-23-18 at 10.56 AM
Amethyst Third Eye Meditation and Travelers, pencil on paper

Where I was meditating with amethyst and focusing on my third eye. (I’ve had many psychic and entity episodes while using crystals as a conduit.)

And of course, my obsession with the Orange Orb — that UFO I and my spouse saw years ago. We also had missing time with that sighting.

orbs in space
Orange Orbs, oil pastel on paper

This past March or April, right when the lockdown began because of the Corona virus, I suddenly began drawing “tall whites” and white, orange entities, sometimes emerging from orbs:

3tallwhites
Tall Whites, oil pastel on paper

Not exactly like the grays — which I’ve “seen” in various encounters – so I don’t know where these tall whites came from. Just playing around during the whole social isolation phase.

And so on. Many more: drawings from childhood memories, UFO sightings, random “mind postcards” like the green warty man/entity, a drawing I’ve been working on.

 

 

 

 

Unsolicited Advice: New to U.F.O. / Paranormal/Cryptid Stuff?

Well, there’s Google. Go for it. No shame, and yes, you’ll find yourself tumbling  down the rabbit hole, but, we all find ourselves there at some point or another. So just know that will happen.

Remember books? Library, bookstores, used and new. Problem is, often libraries have scant and skewed selections. For the most part, libraries don’t take such things seriously. And bookstores — the chain ones — are more about popular topics that sell, than offering books on the meat of the matter. Used bookstores are often better, simply depending on the opinions of the owner. I’ve found some great books in second hand bookstores.  Just depends.

Library sales, that’s another source, as Goodwill and other thrift stores. You have to look in all kinds of categories. St. Vinnie’s, at least in my area, really does a good job of placing books according to genre. Goodwill, not so much. Look in not only “paranormal” sections but science, religion, folklore…

eBay, Amazon, and Etsy. You never know.

Don’t give up.

And of course there’s social media, like Facebook, Twitter, etc. Search, lurk, read, ask. Don’t be afraid to ask. Just develop a bit of a thick skin, because there are some know it alls who won’t hesitate for a moment to tell you what’s good, what’s bad, and if you don’t take their advice, you’re a moron.

Blogs. Blogs might be — I hear tell — going out of style, but I will not accept that. Then again, I am the Queen of the Fortean Blogosphere. I have so many blogs, I forget about some of them for awhile. (Most recent, my UFO-Mary blog on blogspot.com) But there is a lot of great info and art and personal narratives and book lists and history that you could easily spend a whole day pursuing such information.

Sure, I have my own list of books that a person new to the field should read. But, while of course I think it’s an important list, it’s just my opinion. Point is, read what you can, when you can, ask questions, don’t entertain trolls (they still exist, even though the 1990’s are over) and think for yourself. Make up your own. mind. And know that your mind will, hopefully, change many times along the way, as you gather more information.

The really only important point is this: staying stuck on a theory is death. Be willing to change, to morph, to evolve. Don’t be afraid to question. And be brave enough to ignore the trolls and debunkers who will try anything — anything — to shut you up if you decide to share your own experience.

Tim Beckley’s Podcast: Attack of the Orange Orbs

I was a guest. It was fun. Orange orbs, Marian apparitions, and Bigfoot.

Old Files: Don Worley in UFO Magazine (?), Shared Experiences

 

 

early90sUFO Magworley.jpg

I found this article by researcher Don Worley that I clipped from (I think) UFO Magazine.  (Strange World Abductees.) I neglected to label the article with date or source. The illustration is marked 1991 Richard Runnels, so possibly the article is from 1991. 

Worley’s article is a collection of experiences by UFO witnesses and abductees. 

One experience Worley relates  has echoes of things I’ve experienced. Abductee “Carol” age 62 at the time of the article, has had many encounters. An early encounter in 1931 in Indiana:

“…a big black dirigible-shaped craft slowly floated over their home. Beneath it was a big hook hanging from a rope or chain.”

The object “slowly moved out of sight” above their roof.

 

90suofmagworley2.jpg

The following is a blog post from my Saucer Sightings blog (now defunct, but you can still read it on-line):

A recurring dream I had as a young child. Timeframe 1959, early 1960s. Los Angeles, California.  I had lots of dreams connected to alien, non-human beings, which included being floated out through walls and doors and placed in a large tree at night. There I’d sit/wait/watch the starry night sky…

halloweenairship.jpg

One recurring dream motif I remember has me standing outside, at night, on our block. Usually at the corner (near that large tree, that was easily three or four stories tall) which was at the corner. The tree belonged to our neighbor; we were the second house down from the corner. Waiting, outside, at night, sometimes I was with others, usually children. And up in the sky, not much higher than that tree, came the “ship.” Sometimes it was a giant basket, like the ones seen with hot air balloons. But no giant balloon; just the basket and something above that, like a dome thing, some kind of machine. Other times, instead of a basket, it was an over sized bathtub. Inside the baskets, or bathtubs, were one or two people, adults, in uniforms.

I had this dream many times. Always the same: at night, alone or sometimes with others, mainly children, in front of, or near, our house. Waiting. Waiting for what I thought of as my friends — these people in uniforms, in their floating bathtubs or baskets, were always pleased to see us. They took us away on purpose. This was a regular thing.

 

Another experience Carol had when she was eight concerns “an enormous hawk” :

…what seemed to be an enormous hawk soared in and landed unnaturally close to her in the pasture. Thisof course is contrary to the natural instincts of a hawk. She stood there looking at it and remembers nothing more. She doesn’t remember walking back to the house or the hawk flying away. [Worley]

I had an experience when I was very young; I must have been about three or four. This also appeared on my Saucer Sightings blog:

 

The Open Ceiling and The Eagle:

Category:Childhood Memory, dreams, animals

Location: Los Angeles, California

Date: approximately 1958

There was a silver suited alien on the patio at this house on Corning Street, . . but before that:

Before that, . . . I’m lying on my back in bed. I remember this as vividly as if it happened this morning; I also remember this as a “dream” but it was so damn real, I told myself afterwards it was a dream, because it doesn’t make sense that it could be real.

I’m in bed, in the middle of the bed, which is huge, though in “reality” my childhood bed wasn’t huge. Flat on my back. I’m both excited — exhilarated — but also a bit scared, not understanding what’s going on. There’s some confusion; my father is here, and I don’t understand why. He doesn’t live with us and he wouldn’t be here at night. My father, mother and grandmother are standing in the doorway; they can’t come in for some reason. They’re watching, but something prevents them from coming closer.  There’s a lot of activity, but I’m in the middle of my bed, which is huge,I’m kind of spread eagled, I can’t move. I have a sense of being tied up, but I don’t see anything that’s tying me, but something is preventing me from moving.I feel both fantastic and a little disoriented. Lots of bright, bright lights; everything is lit up so white. I look up at the ceiling, and it opens up, opening from the center, two halves moving back to expose the nighttime sky, which is beautiful, full of inky blue and shimmering stars. I think this is a pretty neat trick. A giant eagle flies down from above; the eagle is so large, it fills the sky, fills the open ceiling. It comes down straight at me. I don’t like this too much. I’m not exactly frightened, but it’s not comfortable. The eagle takes me up into a silver disk type thing. That’s all I remember…

One last account from the article, involving a “red-orange” object Carol saw in 1964:

…Carol had dressed to go to a social function. Suddenly, a. large brilliant red-orange object began to hover across the street casting an eerie glow over everything. The neighbors and Carol’s daughter became very excited: however, they would still not believe Carol’s story – and refused to look at the object. [Worley]

Worley doesn’t mention if the object was an orb shaped UFO or not. The orange orb I saw in the early 1980s was large, though I don’t recall it casting a glow — just lit from within. If the object Carol saw was an orb, this is record of an early orange orb, and a large one at that.

beckleyregan lee.jpg

you can’t try for crazy

you can’t try for crazy

it just comes

natural like

and born of ….

well, you know:

drugs,

 trauma, 

loss,

 hurt, 

fear, 

sensitivity,

 psychosis, 

nightmares,

 poverty, 

perpetual poundings small and velvety soft

not being believed

finding yourself lost, without a map, a light, a sense of direction

feeling cold

pain —

that’s literal pain,

undiagnosed pain

told it’s all in your head pain

seeing the unseen, through the veil, within the fringe,

the shadows, the orbs and glows

hearing the voices not inside the head but

in the ether, up and to the left

that inside-an-empty-tin-can sound

crazy comes, stays, visits, stays awhile

sometimes it leaves

mostly, it stays

 

regan lee/4/2018/eugene, oregon

Wapiti (Elk) and Sasquatch: A Memory

(cross posted at my Frame 352: The Stranger Side of Sasquatch blog)

[Preparing for my interview on Lon Stricker’s Arcane Radio podcast this coming Friday, I’ve been putting together my Bigfoot material. Here’s one of those things:]

This isn’t a particularly Fortean or cryptid sort of experience, but it was a profound one, and one I find revisiting more than forty-five years later. However, there is a piece of this experience that does fit in with Bigfoot and other crypto phenomena in a small way as we’ll see.
When I was a Girl Scout (Troop 1534, the Robin was our crest)  we went camping in Northern California. It was a great trip, and my first experience camping. We slept in tents, we hiked in the forests, … the whole real life camping thing. New to me but I loved it. The first night, I remember laying awake in awe at the strangeness of listening to the screams of a woman, or maybe it was a baby. On and on it went, and I couldn’t understand why none of the adults seemed to care. Finally, I came out of my tent, scared but also intensely curious, to find out what was going on. I was very surprised when the camp leaders assured me those “screams” were not the pleas for help from a human in trouble, but wild peacocks. It took some convincing. I simply had never heard such a sound before. I’d seen peacocks in the zoo, but they never cried out like that, just walked around, their brilliant green and emerald tails bursting into jeweled colors every few moments. It was hard for me to put that pretty image together with the sounds I was hearing that night. Of course, since then, I’ve heard peacocks call like that many times. In fact, in the hills surrounding the city where I live, the wild peacocks can be a nuisance.
It was during this camping trip that I saw my first elk. I’m not sure what I was doing off by myself; I only have the memory of the elk sighting, and not what I was doing before or after.  But I think I was just . . . walking around, which is a bit odd, since we were all about the buddy system and checking in with the adult staff and basically just not doing stupid things like being twelve years old and walking around in the forests by yourself on your first camping trip.
I come out on the side of the road; a highway or something. Everything is very still, and very beautiful. I’m surprised the road is here, I didn’t know there was one close by. We came in another way, that involved dusty dirt roads and turns. I just stand there, looking. It seems I’m waiting for something, and suddenly I hear a loud crashing sound coming from  across the road. I watch, and hear a snort, a kind of chuffing sound, and almost magically (or so it seemed to me) there was an elk. He came rushing out of the thick foliage and then stopped right at the edge of the road. We were no more than fifty feet from each other. I was amazed; what a beautiful animal! I wasn’t scared, but I was in awe. True awe. There he stood, looking straight ahead. He must have known I was there, but he didn’t look at me or come towards me. He seemed to be allowing me to look him over. (I’ve wondered, years later, if the elk wasn’t afraid of me, how did he know I wasn’t a hunter? Or was the elk unaware of me  — but I am sure he was absolutely aware of me.)
He just stood there — he had antlers and huge black eyes, and was very large. I wasn’t sure what I was looking at at first; I had never seen an elk outside of books before. At first I thought it was a very large deer, but realized this was no deer, but an elk. (verified later when I looked it up.)  And here we were, standing at opposite sides of a road. After a few moments the elk seemed to fly across the road; just bounded in what seemed like one long graceful leap, and into the dark green of the other side.
I remember thinking that this was a secret thing that had just happened, a glorious strange private thing. I walked back to our camp (I assume I did) and that was that.
Bigfoot and cryptid debunkers and skeptics often say that people mistake the usual for the unusual. A bear, elk or some other animal is mistaken for a Sasquatch. The wild calls of a cougar, coyote, etc. is believed to be Bigfoot cries, or possibly something even more preternatural: the Beast of Bray road, or some such. All mundane sounds of animals mistaken to be something paranormal by nervous humans.
It’s a disingenuous and insulting explanation, which is applied to all witnesses who find themselves out in the woods, regardless of their experience. The person who’s grown up with camping and hunting or who’s lived their entire lives in rural areas is considered in the same group with those unfamiliar with flora and fauna. Myself, at that time long ago. I had never heard the peacock’s eerie calls, or seen an elk in its natural habitat. Yet I didn’t jump to supernatural conclusions. At twelve, I was only vaguely aware of things like UFOs and strange creatures, but I did have an open mind, and in fact, assumed that things like ghosts existed. I don’t know where this trust in the “other” came from, just the way Im wired I guess. Even so, I investigated the call of the peacock, and simply accepted the gift of seeing wapiti. I didn’t assume those things were banshees or Bigfoot or anything strange.
I know too many people that I trust who have shared with me their Bigfoot encounters. To varying degrees, all of those people are familiar with the outdoors, having lived in the country, or hunted, fished and camped all their lives. To suggest they “mistook” a bear, or something else of a mundane nature for a Sasquatch is ridiculous. In fact, it is irrational to suggest that.
The debunker’s dismissal that “people see what they want to see” is also ridiculous. I didn’t, even in my twelve year old mind, believe I saw a fairy, or Bigfoot — I knew I saw an elk, even though I’d never seen one before. (Believe me, as wonderful and magical in its way seeing that elk was, it would have been much cooler to have seen a fairy.)
Another tactic used by uber-skeptics is the “life itself is magical enough, only the bored or disturbed need to create something –Bigfoot, ghosts, etc. — instead of seeing the natural beauty around them.” What these skeptics don’t understand is that both exist; it’s not a contest.  That elk was magical indeed.
And so is Sasquatch, (and that’s with or without the high strangeness aspects of the phenomena, another topic for another day) which, so far anyway, I have not been blessed to encounter. At least not in a literal, flesh and blood way.

1978 UFO Dream-memory

Cleaning out my study; lots of old files, and books, and all kinds of stuff. Had. forgotten all about a little journal I started in 1978 or so about my UFO experiences. Here’s one about a dream I had:

The dream: [edited for clarity] Date: June 29, 1978

Night time, Los Angeles. I’m standing on the corner across from my mother’s house. (interesting I wrote “my mother’s house”  seems an odd way to phrase that. It’s the house I grew up in. Also, the house where my mother saw a UFO, and became very excited, calling us kids to come out and look at “the flying saucer.” No one believed her — except me. In fact, I told not to worry when the UFO was no longer visible. “Don’t worry mom, they’ll be back. They always come back.”)

I look up to the sky, and see very clearly, a large rectangle and another shape, thicker than the first. they are zooming through the air quickly and quietly. The UFOs break apart and disappear over a hill. (No hills however where I grew up.) Now I see flashes of light, and the sounds of machine guns. I know however that that’s not what is making the sound — it’s not the ‘guns’ it’s something else.

People on the street stop to look towards the sounds. I try to tell them what I saw: UFOs. Some believe me, some don’t. To be expected.

Suddenly, as we’re discussing what’s happening, a very large crescent of light comes floating through the sky, very fast. It’s heading towards the direction of the ‘machine gun’ sounds. The sounds stop. The UFOs come back in their original direction, towards me. They stop above me. Strange sounds like music are heard, but it’s difficult to tell if the sounds are from musical instruments (at least what we’re familiar with) or machines.

All this time, during this experience, I think it’s really happening. Then I remember I’m dreaming. Or am I? I must be. Of course I am. I’m confused. Within the dream I dream again. And here I tell Jim (my boyfriend at the time, my spouse now) all about the dream. He believes me. All of it. I tell him that the UFOs are real, “I just know they are.” No doubt. No argument. I tell him: “Well, I guess I really saw a UFO, it happens, and it just did to me.”

This time, in this dream, I wasn’t frightened, as I had been in the past in other dreams. I did feel awe, however, not in a religious sense (no space brother-sister Close Encounters stuff)  but simply in an “this is incredible” sense.

We were living in Eugene, Oregon at this time. This before where we moved a few miles away and I had my orange orb and missing time experience.  I did have a lot of weird UFO alien type dreams — was having them in Los Angeles when I met Jim, where we had missing time and a possible sighting — I find it interesting these dreams started before this. This suggests my experiences have been with me since childhood. Jim, who has had his own UFO related experiences, also since childhood; I have often commented how our experiences are not as random as we might think at times.

Circus and Haiku: A Positive Omen for Creativity?

Couldn’t sleep last night; got up, tried to write. During the day, I was going through old files, trying to clean up my work area. Lots of files on UFOs, the paranormal. A lot of academic papers I’d written when studying folklore at the University of Oregon. (One titled: Talking Deer: The Presence and Function of Animals in UFO Abduction Lore.)Made some notes, went over pages of stuff, but, nothing. Went back to bed.

Earlier in the day, I tweeted to a haiku group that a goal of mine is to “write a haiku a day.” I started doing this a couple of years ago. Not quite one a day; sometimes a few in one day, then nothing for awhile. I carry around a little black notebook just for my writing notes and poems, haiku and haibun.

 

the New Year’s goal

writing a haiku a day

not going well

frog1.png

I subscribe to Modern Haiku. (MH published one of my haiku years ago, rejected a couple of months ago though. Try again . . . ) Aside from writing fiction; poetry and short fiction, I also write about the paranormal and supernatural, UFOs, and all kinds of weird.

I had the following dream last night, after I finally went to bed:

My new issue of Modern Haiku arrived, which surprises me, since I just received a copy and they publish a few times a year. Much too soon to receive a copy. But, I’m very happy to receive this. I also receive an unexpected zine from someone I don’t know. I wonder how they got my address, how they know about me. Both are fiction and poetry inspired publications.

In the Modern Haiku journal, there is an article by a woman about me! The title was Regan Lee: Circus. The author writes that, while not a believer, nor disbeliever, in things paranormal, she was inspired and moved by my writing. Somehow this writer got a hold of my article and she wrote a very positive review of my work.

Of course I’m excited and honored and show this off to everyone, including co-workers. I don’t care if they don’t care — though most of them are interested, and do know of my work in this area — I am so happy about this! But also a little confused. How did this woman come to know of my work? I hadn’t put this paper up anywhere.

The other zine, also from someone I didn’t know, gives me a positive mention as well. Again, I wonder how it is these people came across my work. I also wonder at the strangeness of a review on UFOs and the paranormal appearing in a haiku publication. And what does the circus have to do with any of this? (Circus: something I abhor.)

Creativity. Something extremely important to me, with me my whole life. I don’t put creativity in a box; it’s everywhere, in everything I do or think. Some may not think there is anything creative — blending into a spiritual place — about the realm of UFOs and related themes. I those areas as operating in a strong  and creative plane. Two worlds: outer, inner. Fiction, non-fiction. Mundane, magical. Not always opposites with nothing in common. Going back and forth between worlds.

Which is what I’ve been doing since childhood.  Expressing one realm to another. Maybe that’s the circus part; it can get very chaotic and silly and surreal very fast. I take this dream as a positive message to keep going, following my own crazy path.

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