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"The part we ignore…may contain the clue to the whole subject." ~ J. Allen Hynek

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voices

The Bitchy Witch Tarot Queen

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This came from left field. The only trigger I can think of is that earlier yesterday I cleared off my altar; kept it simple this time with a plant, Buddha lamp, and one of my  tarot decks (Deviant Moon.)

There’s a woman who is quite the pagan leader here, locally. Everyone in the pagan-witchy community knows her, or of her. Some respect her quite a bit, others, like myself, thinks she’s, well, I don’ think much. Used to go to some of her meetings. Feh.

So I dreamt last night, I attend a workshop she’s giving. About a hundred people in attendance. A small, bowl shaped auditorium. She’s in the middle, giving a talk on the tarot. Something about the court cards, specifically, the King and Queen. (the suite didn’t matter, any of the Kings and Queens.)

I ask a question. My intentions are absolutely sincere; all I want to know is… I don’t remember the question now, but in the dream, it had something to do with how to interpret the meaning of the court cards.

For whatever reason, and to my confusion, the Bitchy Witch Tarot Queen becomes extremely rude. Answers my question with sarcasm, meanness, and then, tells me to get out! Yells at me to leave, and, to never, every, come back. She will, she tells me, get a court order (heh) or whatever it takes, to ensure that I never come near her, or anything she’s involved in.

Her reaction really disturbs me. What is wrong with this person?!  The a voice tells me to write a letter, or a blog post, about her. Her rudeness, the bizarre thing her and her co-bitch-witch did to me over my volunteering, etc. And so I write this. And as I’m doing so, the voice keeps reminding me of other episodes. Then I wake up. Or so I think; I realize, after reading the letter, that I’m still asleep. 

 

 

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Unknown.jpeg Deviant Moon tarot, by Patrick Valenza

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you can’t try for crazy

you can’t try for crazy

it just comes

natural like

and born of ….

well, you know:

drugs,

 trauma, 

loss,

 hurt, 

fear, 

sensitivity,

 psychosis, 

nightmares,

 poverty, 

perpetual poundings small and velvety soft

not being believed

finding yourself lost, without a map, a light, a sense of direction

feeling cold

pain —

that’s literal pain,

undiagnosed pain

told it’s all in your head pain

seeing the unseen, through the veil, within the fringe,

the shadows, the orbs and glows

hearing the voices not inside the head but

in the ether, up and to the left

that inside-an-empty-tin-can sound

crazy comes, stays, visits, stays awhile

sometimes it leaves

mostly, it stays

 

regan lee/4/2018/eugene, oregon

Paralyzing Dream: Inside the Lab-Ship

 

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Dreams are a mystery. They still remain so, even with new theories on the hows and whys. It’s a given, as far as this blog is concerned, that dreams are far more than just random crazy brain dumping of the mundane  stuff that went on during one’s day.

I was going over an old journal entry from 1980; a UFO related dream. And I thought, why? Why dream about UFOs at all, back then, when I knew very little at all about the subject? No reason. Except that I had had my orange orb sighting at the time. Then the dreams followed:

I’m in a room with doctors and scientists. Surrounded by recording type machines and all types of official looking equipment. It’s been somehow agreed I will try to tell them what’s going on, by hypnosis or some trance like state.

During this dream, there is a part of me that is quite detached, watching all of this, while another part of me is inside the dream actively taking part. This part of me is helpless. I’m not in control, I am just …here.

One of these scientists deals in para-psychology, he is talking to me. I go into a trance state. Another voice — male–  starts to speak through me.  The voice is coming from another planet,  communicating through me. I relax, I am not frightened and allow this doctor and who, whatever it this being is talking through me. As I relax, this voice/me tells us about a map. This map shows where these beings come from; where their planet is. Two other voices start to speak through me. And I know, I feel, these are two very different people, beings, than myself.  My being has literally been invaded by outside forces. And they are extremely evil. They’re angry and don’t want me and this other being, tellings the human scientists where this planet is.

This is where I struggle to wake up. I feel completely paralyzed and am very scared. I think I’m really awake; I start to moan and I try to scream, but I can’t. Jim wakes up, and tries to comfort me.

Then I really start to wake up, and am startled, because I thought I was awake already. I’m sweating, my heart is beating fast, I am so damn scared! Too afraid to go back to sleep. I think of going downstairs — reading, drawing, watching, tv, a cup of soothing tea, something to relax me and let me know the reassuring reality of things around me. But I’m too afraid to get up and away from a warm human body. (Jim.)

I’m feeling so silly, it was just a bad dream, but I can barely move. And for days afterward, I was in a fog that I couldn’t come out of.

Eugene, Oregon, January 29, 1980

Why do we dream what we do? In this context, it seems odd to dream this dream, especially considering I had many dreams of this kind at the time. And they are all within the context of the orange orb sighting. And other sightings as well; there was a revolving silver sphere above a pasture, emitting a beam of light from underneath onto the ground. It seems that this dream as well as the others, are connected to these sightings.

We know that dreams of UFO/alien (or at least non-human ‘others’) and awake encounters with craft, beings, are connected.

So my question is:  are these dreams of mine a form of memory of real events experienced during waking hours?

Labeling the Experience

 

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Labels. We all use them, in every situation and context. Labels help us. They also manipulate us. We need something to hang onto, something to help us make sense of things. A handy quick label keeps us moving. We assume we all know, all agree, what we’re talking about when we use labels. Of course, most of the time that’s not true. We don’t agree, we aren’t sure, and we just want to get to it. Not get bogged down with defining our labels or explaining ourselves.

Anyway.

When it comes to UFOs, well, the word itself is a label abused. Both debunkers and believers (more labels!) assume UFO means aliens from outer space. (My theory is “they started it” meaning the skepti-bunkers, who insist that UFO of course  “really” means ET, and therefore, let the scoffing and mocking begin.)

What labels to use when talking about people who’ve interacted with UFOs and or entities? Experiencer is a big one. Abductee, contactee, … the edges blur with those two, though of course those words help us identify witnesses who have been contacted, or taken, by entities. (And I do recognize that I use entity more than alien, certainly more than ET, because, well, we don’t know they’re literal ETs.)  I will not ever tell someone who’s gone through encounters what to do; never suggest they take a specific approach or use only certain terminology. That’s up to them. For myself, I think simply using the word witness is enough. Yes, I’ve experienced things as well, but for me, that word in this context seems clinical. The use of the word experience removes a complicated mass of emotions and responses, it sets the self apart from the crazy mysterious scary weird exhilarating thing that happened.

It is up to each one of us who have witnessed these things to use whatever terms makes sense to us at the time. And the researchers who work with witnesses need to respect that, using their own language as they see fit, but allowing the witness her or his voice as well.

 

Found Journal: Memories, Voices, …

More from my found UFO notes from decades ago . I had forgotten so much of these experiences. Is “forgotten” the right word? How can a person forget these types of things? Maybe suppressed might be a better word. Below are two journal entries. Slightly edited for clarity, names have been changed, etc.

April 1991/Eugene, Oregon

Meditating the night before I met with Diane and George. I had an abrupt “waking dream” (I call them “mind post cards now) — I am awake, but having a vision, transported somewhere. I’m about ten years old in the dining room of my childhood home in Los Angeles. I see a man, in gray,  squatting on the floor. He’s busy doing something, and there are about four or five steel boxes about the size of bread boxes near him. They have lights on them, some of them are flashing; yellow, green, blue, red. This man is small with blondish- red hair and he’s human — almost. He seems three quarters human and one quarter something else. He suddenly looks  at me, and I get such a hit of hostility and anger from him! It’s obvious I am not supposed to be here, not supposed to see him. I get the sense in a few moments he’ll be gone; I just happened upon him early, too soon. I’m a little scared and well aware of his feeling I shouldn’t be here, but I’m also angry at him! This is my house! My dining room! I “wake-up” snap out of it is more accurate, for I wasn’t alsleep — as if someone’s turned the switch off and the “movie” is gone. I feel very uncomfortable.

May 1991/Eugene, Oregon

First UFO Study and Support Group at the library. Put up three flyers, about twelve people showed up. Good meeting — our agenda is to not have one. Research, study, compare notes. A couple showed up with their daughter who was about eleven. The daugher had heard voices all her life, and is in counseling. Diana and George (not their real names) really felt for her and felt as if we’ve seen her, or know her, somehow. The mothter seemed receptive — knew a little about stones and crystals. Diane upfront about her Wiccan, pagan path. No one batted an eye. I was slightly open regarding that.

The mother now tells me she feels Diane is “bringing demons” to her, into her house, because of her “witchcraft.” Discouraging. Odd, too, because she was very open and told me she’s glad we had the meeting and wants to meet again, but not if the meeting takes place at Diane’s.

One man who attended told a story of seeing a creature/visitor/intruder/alien/forgein other with witnesses. This creature was standing on the sidewalk, daytime. A definite negative presence. While he and the people he was with saw the creature, those passing by did not.

The next night, as I was leaving work, opening my car door, I heard a voice inside/outside my head. (to my left, by my left) (note: when I do encounter spirit voices it is always on my left) and I told myself it was just the sound of the car door opening. Two “words” came through. I don’t remember what they were.

Last night, I heard voices again. And an odd thing: eyes closed, suddenlty shapes taking a life of their own and forming into the black eyes, and I felt a presence (to my left.) I opened my eyes suddently, did not see anything, but really felt “it” — before opening my eyes I said “I don’t want you here!” and it left. On my way to the meeting at Diane’s when the phone rang — no one there. Diane saw a UFO the next morning. That night her oldest son had an emergency regarding his hand, he also gets frequent nose bleeds. (note: why I wrote that last sentecne at the time I don’t know, must have felt it was related.)

What’s interesting about these experiences is that they happened after my orange orb sighting. Eugene and surrounding areas were full of UFO sighitngs; many friends, “believers” and non-believers,  were seeing things. Local media reported on these sighitngs. I was having an incredible amount of synchronicities, precognitive episodes, my own sightings, “visions” during meditation and out of body experiences.

It seems the sighting of the orb opened up something within me that has been there all along.

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